Hello, My Name is Larry Grenz, Santee, Calif,

On July 1, 2008 My world came crashing in when my 24 year old son Jason was found dead after he had hanged himself. He was located inside a trash enclosure that had a wooden trellis over it. He was my only son, my friend, my buddy, my everthing. I do have a married daughter who resides in another state, I cherish her dearly. We speak often together about Jason.

I have a fantastc wife, she is Jasons stepmom, I love her dearly but somehow i still seem alone in this whole thing. I don't know what to say to others, I have trouble concentrating at work, I try to seem normal, but inside I am a wreck, I must have died Jasons death a million times by now. It just keep haunting. I just pray that somehow its all part of Gods big plan, its a hard one to get past. 

Last Christmas, we had our typical family holiday dinner, when prayer was said, it was mentioned that "we all have a long life". I lost it, Jason wasn't there. My wife said everyone understands. Thats the part that they don't understand, is wasn,t a part of them that departed.

Suicide is something that was the farthest thing from my mind, and here i am entrenched in the loss of my only son, Why God Why?

I have been doing some writing to soothe the soul, it seems to be my best outlet, If anyone has any advice, I welcome you

Larry