counseling usually consisted of dear John letters, sickness at home, fear of death, guilt, use of drugs, alcohol, loneliness, homesickness, fear that their wives are stepping out on them, VD, etc

I am as convinced today as I was then that vets and soldiers always search for the basic answers to life when faced with the unknown.  There is something about combat and death which strips away the facades and pretenses of formalities in a world of loneliness, suffering, grief and death.  I saw many in my unit who did not survive mentally or physically.  According to the medical doctors, some died who should have lived and others lied who should have died.  the difference in many cases was in the will to live and return to their families.

I remember my Commander asking me to fly those sunset missions with him to identify where the enemy was located by looking for smoke or any lights so that artillery could be used to wipe out the enemy.  I was asked to fly because other staff officers were afraid to fly.  We lost many choppers during my stay in the unit.  No one wanted to be shot down in this hostile are of operations.  I said I would fly as an observer.  I flew over 100 combat hours and was one of the first chaplains to be awarded the Air Medal and the Bronze Star.

The "grunts", Sgt., commanders, helicopter pilots, takers, nurses, doctors, lawyers, and chaplains I knew were often pushed to the edge of their emotional and spiritual faith.  Some went over the edge, never to come back.  Others came back to "the world" broken, in despair, lonely, misunderstood, to a nation who didn't care and to families who didn't understand why the United states was even involved in the war.

Among the painful legacies of Vietnam was the loss of religious faith by many GI's, rage directed against God, fundamental moral and ethical questions unresolved cynicism and one in particular that is found in almost all of the stories - guilt and/or survival guilt.  To deal with guilt, may simply convince themselves that they are "okay" vets or grunts and then go about the business of living in an addicted lifestyle of alcoholism ad drug abuse.  Guilt reaches more deeply into the human soul than our society is willing to admit.  When we violate our conscience ad act against the moral and ethical standards of the universe placed there by God, we experience a appropriate sense of guilt which must by dealt with before healing can come to the soul, mind and spirit.

My experiences in Vietnam indicate that most soldiers dealt with their emotional trauma with alcohol, drugs, prostitution, hard-core pornography, black marketing, add flagging.  This was happening in my Squadron,  I didn't like it.  My Commander did not lie it.  We simply had to live with these negative behaviors.  My fears of the unknown were not so much of the enemy, but of our troops, who were out of control.  According to the stories of the GI's that I counseled, drinking, smoking pot, watching hard-core pornography which lead to rape of VN women was a way of lessening the pain, fear, and guilt by helping them forget the consequences of war.  It became a vicious and destructive cycle in their thinking and behavior that led to flagging of fellow soldiers and numerous attacks by the enemy.

This guilt remained and was embedded in the psyche mind and trapped in the center of the soul of many Vietnam veterans - causing what we NOW call Post Vietnam Syndrome.  soldiers and veterans can never afford themselves the luxury off this kind of rationalization for the addictive behavior.

What happened in the jungles, villages, clubs of Vietnam really was horrendous and evil.  For those who haven't read Dr. Peck's books The Road Less Traveled and People of the Lie, on evil,  do so.  You will then have a better understanding of the evil forces at work that destroy the spirit and will of people.  I certainly felt that evil, but my faith in a living God, and Gods assurance that His angels would protect me in times of danger certainly is a part of my story.  I stayed focused i my faith which gave me the confidence